Deep Thoughts

I was reading a blog today and on this particular post, was I guess sort of a poem. It was about "What If" what if you only had 1 week left with your child. Would you.....

Would you take time to go to the store and get what you needed or would you play with them or read them a book?

What if you only had 1 more day with your child? would you yell at them for making a mess or would you hold them and love them?

I thought alot about this over this last week. While Hailey was in the Hospital, I was thinking about those things. I was wishing I was a better mother to all my children. I was feeling bad for yelling at my kids to keep the house clean. Their only kids. I was feeling guilty for not spending more time with them. You know the simple time, like reading to them and just sitting and listening to them. I feel like I am always to worried about other things and getting other things done, that I don't take the time to spend it with them. I realized how much I get angry with them and yell at them, more than telling them how much I love them, and how proud I am of them. I realized that I pointed out their weekeneses, more than praising them for the things that they do well. I promised my Heavenly Father that I would be better if he would help my baby to get better.

Its Unfortunate that I had to realize this watching my baby laying on a bed, struggling to breath, to realize that I needed to change. I was feeling guilty for getting upset with her over somethig so little. And I wanted to take it all back.

Life is to short to pass up those special momments that we have with our children. I have learned not to take them for granted, because you never know how long you are going to have them. I am trying really hard to be a better mother and wife. Its hard. Alot of the time I fell very inadequate. But I am still learning. Its hard for me to realize that. Thank goodness for the gospel and for a loving Heavenly Father who answers our prayers, and knows our struggles and understands how we feel.

I just wanted to share what I had read, in hopes that we all can be better at realizing how special our children are and what a blessing it is to be a mother. I know I don't always realize that. And I forget what an important job I have in raising my children. We just need to do the best we can. I know there will still be those times that I get upset and frusterated, but I will handle those situations so much differently now.

I love my children and I really do LOVE being a Mother!